The Fight

"Don't tell me any lies

I'd rather know nothing

Than be deceived

And live in a disguise

I'm supposed to believe you

But you are a contradiction

It's like being hot and cold

Denying and believing yes and no

You can't make up your mind

You can't decide anything

You don't know what you want

Inside of you what would I find

You want me to be there

And yet give you space

I feel as if I'm in the lion's mouth

Or deep inside his lair"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem" The Fight"

Sweat and Tears

"I saw you 

Last night

You held me close

And it felt so right

We danced

Around and around

And listened to

Each other's heart pound

Then you kissed me 

Square on the lips

And you wrapped your arms

Around my hips

And you whispered 

Sweet words in my ear

You told me how you love me

And told me not to fear

You held me close

Right up against you

Said how you loved me

And everything I do

And I rested

Securely in your arms

I knew I was safe

I wouldn't come to harm

I saw all this

It was vivid and clear

And then I awoke in my bed

Full of sweat and tears"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "Sweat and Tears"

The Moments

"I bet many little girls

With big, bright eyes

And bouncy little curls

Have had plenty of dreams

With images in pen

And pencils and markers

They dreamed of men

Who could hold them tightly

They imagined a loving team

A partnership with a man

A gentleman full of dreams

That would care more than any other

A man that can carry them away

They imagine moments of tenderness

And how he'll always stay

They imagine things that he will do 

I imagined that too

My life was filled with dreams 

I prayed for them to come true

Even if I hid it inside"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "The Moments"

The Rain Falls Down

"The rain falls down

Masking my tears

I stand unmoving

Hiding the fears

Vines entangling my soul

Whips crushing my spirit

Words drowning out Your voice

So I cannot hear it

The fire consuming me

My eyes burn

The thoughts bombarding me

My head churns"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "The Rain Falls Down"

The Ring

"You think that giving me a gift

A token of your affection

Will infect my mind

And flood me with memories of you

But you don't know me that well

Not as well as you think you do

You don't understand my heart

Or the way that my mind works

You think that having something of yours

Something more than your heart

Something that is tangible

Will bring me back to your door

As if a token of affection

A tangible, textured gift

Will bring me back to your door

If I didn't have the desire to be there

In a way you have a good plan

In the fact that I have to return it

But you have failed to see the truth

You haven't seen the potholes

Which I'm surprised at

You usually over-analyze

Not under-analyze something so precious

Something that means so much to you

Just because I have your gift

Just because I have something tangible

Something that means something to you

Doesn't mean I have to see you again

I can drop it off on your doorstep

I can slip it into your mail slot

I could hand it to one of your coworkers

I could give it to one of our friends"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "The Ring"

Then You Are Here

"The wind whips my face

Down streams the tears

Then you are here

And all through the years

And somehow when I scream

You are kissing me

And somehow whenever I smile

You are holding me

My eyes break into tears

When I replay sad images

Of me yelling at you

How could I be so mean

Yes, then you are here

I swear you are

And all I can do is cry

Because then you are here"

~Grace Marshall

Poem, "Then You Are Here"

(Please also see my alternate version, "Then You Were There" on this blog.)

Then You Were There

"The wind whipped my face

Tears rolled down it frantically

I wished your hands were there

Cradling it so gently

And somehow when I scream

I swear you're kissing me

And somehow when I smile

I swear you're holding me

My eyes broke out into tears

When I replayed sad images

Of me yelling at you

How could I be so mean

Yet, then you were there

I swear you were

And all I could do was cry

Because then you were there"

Grace Marshall

Poem, "Then You Were There"
(Please also see my alternate version, "Then You Are Here" posting on this blog in two days.)

This Burning

"My heart is burning

My head is churning

On the inside

On the outside

I am turning

Trying not to see you

'Cause I'm yearning

Just to kiss you

And I'm trying

I'm learning

And I just want love

Don't want this burning"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "This Burning"

Three Words More

"I'm trying not to let

My emotions run free

I'm trying not to let you see

All that's inside of me

My heart pounds with your touch

Your words tickle my ear

You're all I can think about

And you're voice is all I hear

At night you fill my dreams

By day you fill my heart

I'm scared of all these emotions

I'm scared to ever be apart

I'm scared you're overtaking me

With your smile and care

But I'm scared of those three words

I'm scared to take the dare

I know you already told me

Said how you love me

But it's still so hard to say

Can it even really be

When the words are out, they're out

You can use them how you will

You could break it all apart

Or my heart you could fill

So I just stare at you

My heart beating in my chest

I feel so many emotions

I feel you are the best"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "Three Words More"

Vietnam Boy

"It wasn't that I knew him

I couldn't bear to know him

It wasn't that I thought him dangerous

I had to believe he was

It wasn't that I liked violence

I was used to blood

It wasn't that I wanted to fire

I didn't have a choice

It wasn't that I had courage

I was too afraid not to

It wasn't that I enjoyed war

I hated it as much as it hated me

It wasn't that I was used to rain

I continued to hump forward

It wasn't that I was used to mud

I  had to carry it"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "Vietnam Boy"

Try Something New

"I miss you so
It's been too long
You have to know
How I feel

I haven't seen your face
In what feels like ages
In this heartbroken book
My tears fill the pages

Somehow you keep me going
Even while you're not here
You keep my heart beating
But it doesn't stop my tears

I live in hope and misery
Wishing to see you
Wishing we could be
You're always there for me

I've pushed you away countless times
Your heartbreaking look
Fills my mind
As I write these lines

You've never refused me
Warm arms and comfort
No matter how selfish I tend to be
You always say yes to me

I wish I could repay you
Give back a morsel of what I've received
But what could I do
I'm not as good as you"

~Grace Marshall
From my poem, "Try Something New"

Yes Then No

"You are in and out

Saying yes then no

I want to cry and shout

Sometimes you frustrate me so

You cannot decide

You want me then her

This is a roller coaster ride

How do you keep your composure

This is a ride I want to escape

Wanted to get off since it started

Patching my heart with stitches and tape

Now we're together, now we've parted

I want to believe you

But how do I believe it all

You tell me what to believe and do

Sometimes I stand tall and sometimes I fall

I try and believe you love me

Then you say you love her

When someone says love what do you see

For feelings, what is your measure"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "Yes Then No"

You

"Your hair is a cascading waterfall

Your eyes a star of hope

Your lips a stream of love

Your shoulders a mountain of safety

Your chest a sunbeam of comfort

Your hands a wind of refreshment

Your feet a moon of guidance

Your body an element of fascination

You - love"

~Grace Marshall

Poem, "You"

You Held Me

"You held me

I pushed you

You loved me

I hated you

You helped me

I mocked you

You comforted me

I scorned you

You kissed me

I smacked you

You heard me

I shunned you

You needed me

I ignored you

You forgave me

I begrudged you

You saw me

I dreaded you

You held me

And I loved you"

~Grace Marshall

Poem, "You Held Me"

Your Ways

"Please help me know

That you are here

Never let me go

Always be near

You love me so

I try to trust Your ways

Whether You say yes or no

You hold the rest of my days"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "Your Ways"

Your Little Game

"It's really not fair

I don't mean to complain, but do you even care

It is easy for you to not think

About what you do

And how you hurt all those around you

You just went away 

Fro my life

Never thought I'd see

Another day with you near me

And you just come back

Did you even think as you pulled me off the rack

And said once again you love me

Or am I just your little game

Am I just a toy, my heart just a piece

That you will throw out, will your brow even crease

As you hear this

Does it make you sad or does it make you pissed

Did I find you out

Or do you want to give me a teary kiss"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "Your Little Game"

Then Jesus Came

"Through the darkest night

Through the pain and fright

Shone the savior's light

My life was consumed with sin

The darkness was out and within

I was lost and dyin'

Every day was a fight

My only hope was night

When I could crawl from sight

There was no way for me to win

It switched from honesty to me lyin'

There was nothing out or in

And then Jesus came

And I have never been the same

Since I've known His name

Light floods around me

He constantly forgives me

He's all I care to see"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "Then Jesus Came"

Quiet

"Quiet

Don't tell me what to do

I'm not taking anymore

Of this listening to you

Quiet 

Don't tell me what to do

I'm not blind

I know I love you

Quiet

My heart is hurting

I'm not ready to be complete

In my forgiveness"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "Quiet"

Sinful Seduction

"Siken satin sheets

     Spread out beneath you and me

     Shimmering with smells while we rest

In sensual, slinking seduction

     Softly soothing us to seclusion"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "Sinful Seduction"

So It Seemed

"I love you

With my whole healing heart

I missed you

When I fell apart

I hated you

For deserting me

I felt you

I wasn't free

I need you

To bring back trust

I want you

There is such lust

I saw you

Everywhere I went

I knew you

Before you left"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "So It Seemed"