The Fight

"Don't tell me any lies

I'd rather know nothing

Than be deceived

And live in a disguise

I'm supposed to believe you

But you are a contradiction

It's like being hot and cold

Denying and believing yes and no

You can't make up your mind

You can't decide anything

You don't know what you want

Inside of you what would I find

You want me to be there

And yet give you space

I feel as if I'm in the lion's mouth

Or deep inside his lair"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem" The Fight"

Sweat and Tears

"I saw you 

Last night

You held me close

And it felt so right

We danced

Around and around

And listened to

Each other's heart pound

Then you kissed me 

Square on the lips

And you wrapped your arms

Around my hips

And you whispered 

Sweet words in my ear

You told me how you love me

And told me not to fear

You held me close

Right up against you

Said how you loved me

And everything I do

And I rested

Securely in your arms

I knew I was safe

I wouldn't come to harm

I saw all this

It was vivid and clear

And then I awoke in my bed

Full of sweat and tears"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "Sweat and Tears"

Then You Are Here

"The wind whips my face

Down streams the tears

Then you are here

And all through the years

And somehow when I scream

You are kissing me

And somehow whenever I smile

You are holding me

My eyes break into tears

When I replay sad images

Of me yelling at you

How could I be so mean

Yes, then you are here

I swear you are

And all I can do is cry

Because then you are here"

~Grace Marshall

Poem, "Then You Are Here"

(Please also see my alternate version, "Then You Were There" on this blog.)

Then You Were There

"The wind whipped my face

Tears rolled down it frantically

I wished your hands were there

Cradling it so gently

And somehow when I scream

I swear you're kissing me

And somehow when I smile

I swear you're holding me

My eyes broke out into tears

When I replayed sad images

Of me yelling at you

How could I be so mean

Yet, then you were there

I swear you were

And all I could do was cry

Because then you were there"

Grace Marshall

Poem, "Then You Were There"
(Please also see my alternate version, "Then You Are Here" posting on this blog in two days.)

Try Something New

"I miss you so
It's been too long
You have to know
How I feel

I haven't seen your face
In what feels like ages
In this heartbroken book
My tears fill the pages

Somehow you keep me going
Even while you're not here
You keep my heart beating
But it doesn't stop my tears

I live in hope and misery
Wishing to see you
Wishing we could be
You're always there for me

I've pushed you away countless times
Your heartbreaking look
Fills my mind
As I write these lines

You've never refused me
Warm arms and comfort
No matter how selfish I tend to be
You always say yes to me

I wish I could repay you
Give back a morsel of what I've received
But what could I do
I'm not as good as you"

~Grace Marshall
From my poem, "Try Something New"

Yes Then No

"You are in and out

Saying yes then no

I want to cry and shout

Sometimes you frustrate me so

You cannot decide

You want me then her

This is a roller coaster ride

How do you keep your composure

This is a ride I want to escape

Wanted to get off since it started

Patching my heart with stitches and tape

Now we're together, now we've parted

I want to believe you

But how do I believe it all

You tell me what to believe and do

Sometimes I stand tall and sometimes I fall

I try and believe you love me

Then you say you love her

When someone says love what do you see

For feelings, what is your measure"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "Yes Then No"

Why Did You Leave

"What's the deepest pain

I'm not sure I know

I only know my own pain

And it's from loving you so

Why did you leave me

Why did you go

Okay, I guess I see

Okay, I guess I know

It was because of me

Because I did wrong

I knew this would be

We knew it all along

I just didn't want this

I just wasn't thinking

Now I miss your kiss

And my world is sinking"

~Grace Marshall

Poem, "Why Did You Leave"

Your Little Game

"It's really not fair

I don't mean to complain, but do you even care

It is easy for you to not think

About what you do

And how you hurt all those around you

You just went away 

Fro my life

Never thought I'd see

Another day with you near me

And you just come back

Did you even think as you pulled me off the rack

And said once again you love me

Or am I just your little game

Am I just a toy, my heart just a piece

That you will throw out, will your brow even crease

As you hear this

Does it make you sad or does it make you pissed

Did I find you out

Or do you want to give me a teary kiss"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "Your Little Game"

So It Seemed

"I love you

With my whole healing heart

I missed you

When I fell apart

I hated you

For deserting me

I felt you

I wasn't free

I need you

To bring back trust

I want you

There is such lust

I saw you

Everywhere I went

I knew you

Before you left"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "So It Seemed"

What's Love

"I need your touch

Any leaving

Is just too much

It’s this believing

That meets me

It captures all

Blocks vision so I can’t see

I slowly fall

It blocks what I could be"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "What's Love"

Past Attempts

"I don’t understand

You hold my heart in your hand

It seems to be like grains of sand

I no longer know where you stand

I thought my heart could be strong

It seems that I was wrong

And now I long

To take back my love song

And whenever you leave

I start to grieve

You made me believe

So do not deceive"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "Past Attempts"

On Clouds of Love

"I once flew over a silver moon but the moon turned crimson and dripped with blood so I slit it across my wrists. I once danced on the clouds below a shining sun but the sun turned black and fell. He tried to rekindle the flame but he can't do it by himself. He needs my help. So I plead with him that we can start with a new golden moon. And we can dance in a new way on clouds of love."

~Grace Marshall

From "Clouds of Love"

Love Me

"I've been thinking

You in my mind

My dreams are sinking

Why did I leave you behind

I think more and more

About what could have been

What if I hadn't fallen on the floor

What would have happened then

One decision seemed to ruin me

It changed my life

That I now see

All of my grief and strife

I don't need anything

And I don't need anyone

My finger doesn't need a ring

Yet from solitude I run

To my knees I drop

All I can hear are my screams

But I just can't stop

Your image floods my dreams"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "Love Me"

Lose My Head

"How do you continue

When you feel alone

I deeply miss you

I'm shaken to the bone

The sky is blue then red

I fear if I close my eyes

I'll lose my head

Thinking of our goodbye"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "Lose My Head"