You've Contaminated Every Inch Of Me

"You've contaminated every inch of me. I no longer know what to do and my dreams have gone wild. I'm now dreaming of you basically every night and see your face each time I close my eyes. I guess my indecision all comes back down to my fear again. I don't know how you can love me. I don't know how I could make it if you left me and I didn't have something or someone else to hang onto. Yet, I'm terrified of losing you."

~Grace Marshall

From my short story, "You've Contaminated Every Inch Of Me"

The Fight

"Don't tell me any lies

I'd rather know nothing

Than be deceived

And live in a disguise

I'm supposed to believe you

But you are a contradiction

It's like being hot and cold

Denying and believing yes and no

You can't make up your mind

You can't decide anything

You don't know what you want

Inside of you what would I find

You want me to be there

And yet give you space

I feel as if I'm in the lion's mouth

Or deep inside his lair"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem" The Fight"

Sweat and Tears

"I saw you 

Last night

You held me close

And it felt so right

We danced

Around and around

And listened to

Each other's heart pound

Then you kissed me 

Square on the lips

And you wrapped your arms

Around my hips

And you whispered 

Sweet words in my ear

You told me how you love me

And told me not to fear

You held me close

Right up against you

Said how you loved me

And everything I do

And I rested

Securely in your arms

I knew I was safe

I wouldn't come to harm

I saw all this

It was vivid and clear

And then I awoke in my bed

Full of sweat and tears"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "Sweat and Tears"

The Moments

"I bet many little girls

With big, bright eyes

And bouncy little curls

Have had plenty of dreams

With images in pen

And pencils and markers

They dreamed of men

Who could hold them tightly

They imagined a loving team

A partnership with a man

A gentleman full of dreams

That would care more than any other

A man that can carry them away

They imagine moments of tenderness

And how he'll always stay

They imagine things that he will do 

I imagined that too

My life was filled with dreams 

I prayed for them to come true

Even if I hid it inside"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "The Moments"

The Rain Falls Down

"The rain falls down

Masking my tears

I stand unmoving

Hiding the fears

Vines entangling my soul

Whips crushing my spirit

Words drowning out Your voice

So I cannot hear it

The fire consuming me

My eyes burn

The thoughts bombarding me

My head churns"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "The Rain Falls Down"

The Ring

"You think that giving me a gift

A token of your affection

Will infect my mind

And flood me with memories of you

But you don't know me that well

Not as well as you think you do

You don't understand my heart

Or the way that my mind works

You think that having something of yours

Something more than your heart

Something that is tangible

Will bring me back to your door

As if a token of affection

A tangible, textured gift

Will bring me back to your door

If I didn't have the desire to be there

In a way you have a good plan

In the fact that I have to return it

But you have failed to see the truth

You haven't seen the potholes

Which I'm surprised at

You usually over-analyze

Not under-analyze something so precious

Something that means so much to you

Just because I have your gift

Just because I have something tangible

Something that means something to you

Doesn't mean I have to see you again

I can drop it off on your doorstep

I can slip it into your mail slot

I could hand it to one of your coworkers

I could give it to one of our friends"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "The Ring"

Then You Are Here

"The wind whips my face

Down streams the tears

Then you are here

And all through the years

And somehow when I scream

You are kissing me

And somehow whenever I smile

You are holding me

My eyes break into tears

When I replay sad images

Of me yelling at you

How could I be so mean

Yes, then you are here

I swear you are

And all I can do is cry

Because then you are here"

~Grace Marshall

Poem, "Then You Are Here"

(Please also see my alternate version, "Then You Were There" on this blog.)

Then You Were There

"The wind whipped my face

Tears rolled down it frantically

I wished your hands were there

Cradling it so gently

And somehow when I scream

I swear you're kissing me

And somehow when I smile

I swear you're holding me

My eyes broke out into tears

When I replayed sad images

Of me yelling at you

How could I be so mean

Yet, then you were there

I swear you were

And all I could do was cry

Because then you were there"

Grace Marshall

Poem, "Then You Were There"
(Please also see my alternate version, "Then You Are Here" posting on this blog in two days.)

This Burning

"My heart is burning

My head is churning

On the inside

On the outside

I am turning

Trying not to see you

'Cause I'm yearning

Just to kiss you

And I'm trying

I'm learning

And I just want love

Don't want this burning"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "This Burning"

Three Words More

"I'm trying not to let

My emotions run free

I'm trying not to let you see

All that's inside of me

My heart pounds with your touch

Your words tickle my ear

You're all I can think about

And you're voice is all I hear

At night you fill my dreams

By day you fill my heart

I'm scared of all these emotions

I'm scared to ever be apart

I'm scared you're overtaking me

With your smile and care

But I'm scared of those three words

I'm scared to take the dare

I know you already told me

Said how you love me

But it's still so hard to say

Can it even really be

When the words are out, they're out

You can use them how you will

You could break it all apart

Or my heart you could fill

So I just stare at you

My heart beating in my chest

I feel so many emotions

I feel you are the best"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "Three Words More"

Vietnam Boy

"It wasn't that I knew him

I couldn't bear to know him

It wasn't that I thought him dangerous

I had to believe he was

It wasn't that I liked violence

I was used to blood

It wasn't that I wanted to fire

I didn't have a choice

It wasn't that I had courage

I was too afraid not to

It wasn't that I enjoyed war

I hated it as much as it hated me

It wasn't that I was used to rain

I continued to hump forward

It wasn't that I was used to mud

I  had to carry it"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "Vietnam Boy"

Try Something New

"I miss you so
It's been too long
You have to know
How I feel

I haven't seen your face
In what feels like ages
In this heartbroken book
My tears fill the pages

Somehow you keep me going
Even while you're not here
You keep my heart beating
But it doesn't stop my tears

I live in hope and misery
Wishing to see you
Wishing we could be
You're always there for me

I've pushed you away countless times
Your heartbreaking look
Fills my mind
As I write these lines

You've never refused me
Warm arms and comfort
No matter how selfish I tend to be
You always say yes to me

I wish I could repay you
Give back a morsel of what I've received
But what could I do
I'm not as good as you"

~Grace Marshall
From my poem, "Try Something New"

Yes Then No

"You are in and out

Saying yes then no

I want to cry and shout

Sometimes you frustrate me so

You cannot decide

You want me then her

This is a roller coaster ride

How do you keep your composure

This is a ride I want to escape

Wanted to get off since it started

Patching my heart with stitches and tape

Now we're together, now we've parted

I want to believe you

But how do I believe it all

You tell me what to believe and do

Sometimes I stand tall and sometimes I fall

I try and believe you love me

Then you say you love her

When someone says love what do you see

For feelings, what is your measure"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "Yes Then No"

Why Did You Leave

"What's the deepest pain

I'm not sure I know

I only know my own pain

And it's from loving you so

Why did you leave me

Why did you go

Okay, I guess I see

Okay, I guess I know

It was because of me

Because I did wrong

I knew this would be

We knew it all along

I just didn't want this

I just wasn't thinking

Now I miss your kiss

And my world is sinking"

~Grace Marshall

Poem, "Why Did You Leave"

You

"Your hair is a cascading waterfall

Your eyes a star of hope

Your lips a stream of love

Your shoulders a mountain of safety

Your chest a sunbeam of comfort

Your hands a wind of refreshment

Your feet a moon of guidance

Your body an element of fascination

You - love"

~Grace Marshall

Poem, "You"

Novel for NaNoWriMo - "Christian PornoGirl"

Brief excerpt from novel I'm writing during NaNoWriMo:

"All she wanted was to be touched and held and ravished. She thought about sex so often that it was sometimes hard to concentrate on anything else. She felt like such a failure in a family so focused on God. She felt that she was letting them all down by being so enthralled in sex even though none of them knew a thing about it. It was just that she didn’t know how to break the cycle.

She wanted to be touched. She wanted to have sex. She wanted it all of the time."

~Grace Marshall, "Christian PornoGirl"

Don't stop writing or reading!

You Held Me

"You held me

I pushed you

You loved me

I hated you

You helped me

I mocked you

You comforted me

I scorned you

You kissed me

I smacked you

You heard me

I shunned you

You needed me

I ignored you

You forgave me

I begrudged you

You saw me

I dreaded you

You held me

And I loved you"

~Grace Marshall

Poem, "You Held Me"

Your Ways

"Please help me know

That you are here

Never let me go

Always be near

You love me so

I try to trust Your ways

Whether You say yes or no

You hold the rest of my days"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "Your Ways"

"Person of Faith" Now Available for Purchase!

Don't miss out on Person of Faith now available for purchase as an ebook on Amazon Barnes and Noble!

Less than 4 dollars so go get one and read! It's an in depth though fairly short read - for more info click this link:

http://gracemauthor.blogspot.com/p/my-books.html

To purchase on Amazon click the following link:

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To Purchase on Barnes and Noble click the following:

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And remember, good reviews are always helpful!

Your Little Game

"It's really not fair

I don't mean to complain, but do you even care

It is easy for you to not think

About what you do

And how you hurt all those around you

You just went away 

Fro my life

Never thought I'd see

Another day with you near me

And you just come back

Did you even think as you pulled me off the rack

And said once again you love me

Or am I just your little game

Am I just a toy, my heart just a piece

That you will throw out, will your brow even crease

As you hear this

Does it make you sad or does it make you pissed

Did I find you out

Or do you want to give me a teary kiss"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "Your Little Game"

Then Jesus Came

"Through the darkest night

Through the pain and fright

Shone the savior's light

My life was consumed with sin

The darkness was out and within

I was lost and dyin'

Every day was a fight

My only hope was night

When I could crawl from sight

There was no way for me to win

It switched from honesty to me lyin'

There was nothing out or in

And then Jesus came

And I have never been the same

Since I've known His name

Light floods around me

He constantly forgives me

He's all I care to see"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "Then Jesus Came"

"Person of Faith" Snippet

"So many flaunt themselves and try to be seen as great men and women of God. Why? Does it matter what men think? Should it matter what men think? Their opinions cannot be taken to the Great White Throne Judgment and those opinions will not keep anyone cool in hell. No drink of water will be forthcoming from a good opinion." 

~From "Person of Faith"

Releasing This November!

Quiet

"Quiet

Don't tell me what to do

I'm not taking anymore

Of this listening to you

Quiet 

Don't tell me what to do

I'm not blind

I know I love you

Quiet

My heart is hurting

I'm not ready to be complete

In my forgiveness"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "Quiet"

Sinful Seduction

"Siken satin sheets

     Spread out beneath you and me

     Shimmering with smells while we rest

In sensual, slinking seduction

     Softly soothing us to seclusion"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "Sinful Seduction"

So It Seemed

"I love you

With my whole healing heart

I missed you

When I fell apart

I hated you

For deserting me

I felt you

I wasn't free

I need you

To bring back trust

I want you

There is such lust

I saw you

Everywhere I went

I knew you

Before you left"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "So It Seemed"

"Person Of Faith" Cover Reveal!

Christians are often bombarded by instructions on how to be a person of faith and what it means if they are not. They are often confronted with the idea that they need to have a stout and strong faith to please God or for good things to happen in life. Person Of Faith explores the idea of what it means to have a powerful faith in God and then delves into the truth of how to be a person of faith. 

Do you want to be a mighty man or woman of God? The goal of this book is to further your understanding of faith so you can deepen your walk with God and take your next leap of faith.

Make sure to keep an eye out for Person of Faith which will be coming out on Amazon this November!

So What

"So I ran and hid

So what

Tell me you haven't been afraid

Before

I know you hide too

So no one sees

I see it in your eyes

All the shutters

No one even knows you

Or what you think

So yeah, I ran and hid

Afraid of emotions

But I know so have you

So do you

Stop trying to make me

Show you me

It will maybe come

In due time

Okay, so it probably won't 

So what

Don' tell me you've shown me

All of you

I'm afraid of love and trust

So what"

~Grace Marshall
From my poem, "So What"

Person of Faith

"Paul was still a human, what made Paul great was the God he had. He went from persecuting the truth to professing it only because he found the truth of a great savior. Yet, Paul is not this hero in purple robes. For some reason, people like to create heroes of people that did works for God, but they are not superhuman. Yes, they are heroes in that they helped people find the truth and not burn in damnation for all eternity, but they are still simply humans.

Taking a critical look at Paul, his words were tough. The gospel he preached did not exactly proclaim feelings of warmth and he was hard on his congregations.  We read his letters today and glean truth and scripture from them as the churches back then hopefully did as well. However, I bet Paul would have been a difficult person to be friends with. He was active and had tough preaching and never quit. He was quite blunt and a know-it-all. He was the kind of person a lot of people would be offended at and he most likely would not be the one you would turn to when you needed a hug."

~Grace Marshall

From my devotional book RELEASING this NOVEMBER 2015

"Person Of Faith"

Look for the cover reveal coming later this week!

Another Chance

"So this is another chance

Just another

Another one of those chances

Like the sun

Getting another chance to brighten

The world

Like the deer

Getting another chance

With its newborn fawn

Like each brand new day

Getting another chance

To be brand new

Before the next day

And the next"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "Another Chance"

What's Love

"I need your touch

Any leaving

Is just too much

It’s this believing

That meets me

It captures all

Blocks vision so I can’t see

I slowly fall

It blocks what I could be"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "What's Love"

Want It Back

"When I feel a warm body holding me close

Heartache give me a double dose

And every time I try to reach out for someone new

It just make me realize how much I love you

And when I kiss someone else

It's like I'm kissing you yourself

And when I close my eyes

It's you I love I realize

You took my heart

Using your unstoppable darts

And I want it back

Your love I lack

I want my heart back

I want it back"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "Want It Back"

Past Attempts

"I don’t understand

You hold my heart in your hand

It seems to be like grains of sand

I no longer know where you stand

I thought my heart could be strong

It seems that I was wrong

And now I long

To take back my love song

And whenever you leave

I start to grieve

You made me believe

So do not deceive"

~Grace Marshall

From my poem, "Past Attempts"